Cut Cut Cut Pt. 3

ML cut me. Eight times.

Once on my left wrist, under the watch band. Hide it.
Once on the right palm, test. Too deep. Ouch.

The leg?
Four. Four slices. About two and a half inches long each.
Done with a razor, a slim thing. Waif like, but very lethal.

Once more, on the left index finger. So when you touch things, when you go through your day, you will know.


ML left me, then. Dazed and confused, I looked at the blood smearing under my watch. I winced at the pain in my palm. Wondered at the cuts on my leg.

Calm and Collected took over. (I can identify CnC now. I just knew then that it still wasn't me who took care of my body.) "Might as well get cleaned up," CnC said with a sigh.

"First thing's first...shower, then bandaids," CnC murmured, nodding an affirmation. CnC had a plan.
Going to the door, CnC peeked out to see if the roommates had returned, which they hadn't. Calmly, CnC collected everything needed for a shower, then went and started the water.

It stung, that shower. Water sluiced over my body, washing away the blood, but not the pain.
I switched back into myself and crouched down, pressing my forehead against the wall of the shower, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Why...why...why..." I chanted. Why did this happen? Why did ML do that?
Pull yourself together, CnC's voice echoed in my mind.

I couldn't do it. I just remained crouching, water hitting my back, wounds pulsing idly.
Switching back in, CnC went about getting me cleaned up, gentle as he cleaned the cuts. He was sweet, though he had little compassion as my shampoo stung the cut on my right palm.
"It's what you get," CnC murmured, though not to me. He was chastising ML, angry at what ML had done to my body.

Getting out of the shower, I went to my room, after appropriating some of my roommate's bandaids and neosporin.
I ripped up the paper towel I had had my toaster strudel on, and poured peroxide over all the wounds. I hissed as the chemical stung, then wiped the liquid away with my strips of paper towel.

After bandaging me up, CnC turned to my computer, responding to an e-mail I had sent to Prof (my academic adviser).

Prof,

I know you've had a really busy week, and I've already [insert self-degrading bothering-related comment here] this week, but I was wondering if you'd have any time tomorrow to just...I dunno, check in...

This morning was really bad. The medicine functioned too closely to a sedative, and I walked around in a haze all day. 

But it was the pre-medicine state that really scared me, and I don't quite know how to handle it. 

Either way, I'm getting by, and struggling to keep hold of what I've got. 

If you don't have time tomorrow, that's cool. I'll.....well, Yahoo! Answers always yields interesting results xD

Thanks, 

Lauren 

And he responded with:

          Hi Lauren,

                How about noon? 

Noon sounded just fine.
I went to lunch, and was snatched up by one of my roommates. This was one thing that I couldn't handle. Roommate is not someone I wanted to deal with. She took me to lunch, where I couldn't eat the rice and vegetables I'd put on my plate.

Shaking, I tried to drink my water, but instead gnawed on the edge of the cup.
An eyebrow raised and a frown on her face, Roommate asked if I wanted to leave.

Nodding fervently, we got up and I went to my appointment with Prof.

It went downhill from there.